Hello dear one,
As I sit with all the possible ways to begin this note to you, I am reminded of a recent scene. I was greeted by someone who I haven’t seen in years at this week’s NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) Write-In at ArtReach St. Croix. The first words that came out of their mouth unfurled with a sigh, “It has been a long month.” They set down their belongings on the table and scanned for the next words they would share to continue the conversation. And then nothing else was shared, and I realized they didn’t need to go into any further details; I had an idea or could at least relate to their general sentiment in my own way. I exhaled alongside her. It’s amazing how our bodies are in constant conversation together.
Her words though lingered in my mind and felt like the perfect writing prompt, inviting in the friendly and sometimes not so friendly marker of time to remind us of the passing by nature of our lives and sometimes the judgment that comes along with it. What makes a day “long”? Doesn’t it have the same amount of minutes in it as the day before it and the day after? And…when…if ever—is this stretched feeling a welcomed experience?
What is the difference in measure between 60 minutes of something we enjoy doing versus 60 minutes engaging in something we are indifferent to? And to what degree is it useful to look at time/our life experience in this “I like” versus “I don’t like/care” way? These questions have the smell of shoulding, pointing out how we think we should spend our time.
What I’ve come to know through my life is I want to experience time differently. I want to be present for more of the time I have so I don’t worry so much about missing out or not having enough. I want to awaken to the tasks before me as they are and not how I think they should be. This way showing up to what is and being okay with where I am is my practice. It is not easy, but it is simple.
Part of why I love retreats so much, is because when they are set up in such a way, they can be excellent conductors of calling us to the present moment and letting go of the shoulds. We can return to real time—the time that requires no counting or judging. Here on retreat, we can start healing our standard relationship we have to time and reveal how to flow with time and ourselves in new ways.
It is in this place where we join our actions and thoughts, and bodies and words, and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. We are here. Where time simply is, and we are, and it’s nothing more than that.
And when we can arrive to this place of surrender—knowing there is no place to be other than where you are--the mind gets to relax. The body softens. We breathe a little more deeply.
For those who need a plan, of course, there is still form and structure provided so you don’t get lost… indeed a “schedule” exists. Yet it is drawn out only as an invitation to come home to yourself. The items on the “agenda” are set up as support. You can pick and choose your own adventure. You can take in as little or as much as you feel you need.
There are also other people on the journey with you, similar to your daily life but in this space of the pause between the inhale and the exhale, we have time to acknowledge one another with our own presence, which is a gift not afforded to many. Being in community, alone, yet together with shared presencing is a deeply held and insightful experience, and each year we are grateful for those who come together in the woods of the winter to retreat.
Whether it’s been a long day, month, or year for you, whether you have already cracked the code to how you experience time—we would love to have you join us for our 7th annual Winter Retreat. We are thrilled to offer this experience for the first time in the St. Croix Valley, and we would love to help you plan how you can be there with us.
If you have any questions about what we will be doing or who will be holding space for you, in the mean time, please check out the webpage for more details and watch out for our weekly Friday blog posts that will share more about what goes on with our Winter retreat.
This blog was written by Kali, and sent with love from all of us