“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Summer is coming to a close. It can be easy to fall into the trap of feeling the “not enough” and “not ok” story lines. Wondering were my experiences and all that good enough? Did I choose the right things to spend money on? Invest in the right relationships? …Is this narrative familiar to you?
I saw a video the other day talking about the dopamine loop, how we train our minds to keep moving toward more and more but can never seem to get enough. The person spoke about scrolling on Instagram, and she said she never gets to a point in her scrolling where she stops and thinks, Oh good. I’ve completed what I came here to do and feel really good about it and can now stop scrolling. This practice of never getting enough that we engage in every day harms our experience of reality and our quality of life.
When we are scrolling, what exactly are we doing? We are avoiding our lives!! Drawing the focus toward what other people are doing/saying/having/their reel of highlights pulls us out of our own reality. Are we enough? We subconsciously think and we keep scrolling or click to buy the next ticket to happiness which is short-lived. Sometimes that “joy” ends before we even receive the item we purchased. It was just the thought of what it could do for us in that moment that we bought.
Maybe you don’t relate to this at all, and that would be a good thing, but I can say for myself that I fall into this trap. I have and still do, and it’s an active practice to stop these loops and patterns and also to cross-check to make sure my new practices aren’t another way of being distracted.
I’ve been doing a 30 day tarot challenge this August (drawing one card a day) and all of the cards have been pointing to the same message. That message is: stop the brain train and get here in the now and enjoy it! I am exactly where I need to be, and I need to be here. Savor that last juicy peach of the summer, gaze into your loved one’s eyes and really look at them, rather than calculate in your head what task you must be onto next. Be. Here. Now. Slow down. It’s OK to be OK. It’s OK to be OK when you don’t feel OK.
Our feelings are often associated with our thoughts. When I was in a group therapy intensive this past June, when someone would feel something, often the psychologist would ask, what was the thought that lead to that feeling? So many times, we are feeding ourselves stories and thoughts that we aren’t OK when in reality, we really are OK…and perhaps…we are even better than OK. Whoa, how does that feel for size?
What if the story you believed is that you are OK, here and now, just as you are, even if you don’t feel OK? That you are valued and deserving of celebration for who you are exactly as you are, regardless of what your paycheck is, what important chair you sit on or don’t sit on at the table, regardless of your marital status, whether you have kids or not, a place you call home, whether you are ‘successful’, whatever body shape you are in, whatever color of skin you have, whatever mental state you are in, whatever clothes you are in?
What if you helped change the story and stopped yourself after every time you had a thought that you were less than and questioned that inner voice? What if you stood up for yourself? And said, I am enough and I have had enough of what everyone else is having. I am not my pain or my trauma or my life circumstances, or my thoughts. I am me, and I am enough.
This is where I’m at as we close the month of August. It’s evident that this message has been my lesson for this year as I look back on the blogs so far. It’s liberating to breathe it in and challenging all at once. Liberating because I am coming to learn what radical self-acceptance and self-love is, challenging because taking responsibility for your life and holding yourself accountable isn’t the easy road. It’s much easier to blame other people for our lack of progress or fill in the blank.
Jumping into a new space affords me the opportunity to see how my inner dialogue contributes to my daily reality. I have to check myself constantly in accepting where I am and allowing myself to feel the blessings of the here and now, while holding onto the fact I still feel on the daily some form of inadequacy as I grow and that’s OK. These feelings are not the be all end all, and they aren’t the truth.
As I let go of summer, I give thanks for all these lessons, and I give thanks for being OK, because the reality is, I am OK, better than OK, and I’m good with sharing that now. I’m good with shutting down the part of my brain that tries to trick me. I welcome Fall with wide open arms and a big heart further trusting that I am where I am meant to be and that it is all unfolding exactly as it needs to. That I am supported. That you are supported. And that we are in this thing called life, together.
Stay tuned for our new Fall schedule dropping later this week via our newsletter and the online scheduler! Most everything is staying the same on the schedule, so no need to make you wonder, but thought I would mention it if you need some extra motivation to get planning.
Thanks always for reading along and being you.
With Love & Gratitude,
Studio Founder, Wellness Teacher & Practitioner aka Fellow Human on the Path